The Vineyard

I spent a couple weeks on Martha's Vineyard. I was there working. This was the hallway to my room, at night, lit by the EXIT sign. It looks like something out of "The Shining," doesn't it? First, it was warm. Then, it was cool. I took some walks to the lighthouse. Eventually, I was ready to leave, and then I did.

How Well Are You Received?

The guy walks in and takes a look at Vincent van Gogh's latest work. It's La Berceuse. Why is her face so yellow? the guy wants to know. He points at the woman's strange hands. What have you mangled there? the guy queries, clearly annoyed. I don't like this, the man says. It's just too weird. (Just ignore him.)

Hood By Porn

Image via

Image via

I talked to Pornhub about their New York Fashion Week collaboration with Hood By Air on my Forbes blog: "How a Porn Company and a Fashion Brand Shocked New York Fashion Week."

Do you think we’ll see more of this in the future — porn companies collaborating with mainstream companies?
There’s immense potential for fashion brands to collaborate with Pornhub. As more and more fashion brands continue their foray into the digital ad ecosystem, they are looking to overhaul their marketing approach by leaning toward a more refreshingly modern and edgy attitude in terms of exposure. And that’s exactly what Pornhub provides.



I made a few functionally minor, aesthetically significant changes to this website recently. I changed the background image to GUNS! And I rewrote my ABOUT page. I've long wrestled with saying who I am and what I do. Am I a journalist? A fiction writer? A, as of late, reality TV producer? A maker of comics? A photographer? A blogger? This time, I decided, I'm all of those.

Here's what it reads now:

I'm a journalist, a novelist, a copywriter, a reality TV producer, a photojournalist, a maker of comics, a blogger, an editor, and a pundit. In 2008, TIME named me one of the best bloggers of the year. I've been described as a "modern-age Studs Terkel," a "rare commodity online," and a "certifiable asshole." If you're interested in contacting me, you can email me at susannahbreslin at gmail dot com.

I also changed my profile photo here and elsewhere. It's rather dark. It's a selfie I took backstage before an improv performance.

This Is Not Correct (Your Dick Is in the Way)

Image by Mr. Birthmark

Image by Mr. Birthmark

In the comments of "The Long, Dark Process of Creating HBO's 'The Night Of,'" a commenter asserted that HBO's "The Deuce," David Simon's in-production series on porn in 1970's New York City starring James Franco and Maggie Gyllenhaal, "began" as a show I pitched to HBO.

This is an amusing idea, but, as far as I know, not the case. Last year, I wrote about a series that I'd pitched as a potential HBO project to Stephen Levinson by way of Ari Emanuel several years ago, which I described as a "21st century 'Boogie Nights,'" but, as I stated in the post, "[I]t never went anywhere."

Still, this random reinventing of the story is amusing, although, you know, incorrect. It's too bad, though, that my idea has yet to see the light of day. I look forward to seeing Simon's show, but everybody knows that men can't write about porn--not honestly, anyway. Their dicks get in the way. Only women get how it really works.

In any case, here's the incorrect comment that the commenter commented on The A.V. Club:

The show began as Susannah Breslin pitching HBO a 'porn drama . . . akin to a 21st century “Boogie Nights”' that got tabled once James Franco was pulled into the discussion and started talking about the show HE wanted to make.
I'm glad Simon is working on this now but there was pretty much nobody more qualified to tell such a story than Breslin, and it sucks that her spin got rejected in favor of the more commercial one. She would have made something more disgusting, depressing and unique (and the fact that the story is set in the 70s and based on real life just means people will throw even more criticisms at it for ripping off Boogie Nights. )

Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.

Work and Other Things

At this point in my career, I remain confused as to whether it is a blessing or a curse to be good at many things. Which is to say, I am not good at many things in a broad sense but that when it comes to words, I am good at the many ways one may apply that gift. I write fiction and nonfiction, am a copywriter and a digital marketer, create strange projects and undertake long-form investigations. Is this good or is this bad? I have no idea.

The ad world

Not long ago, I went to Miami to talk to some ad agencies about doing some copywriting work for them. So far, those interviews have not led anywhere. Why is this the case? I'm not sure. Maybe it is: my freelance status, my overall vibe, my doesn't-fit-into-a-box-edness. There were some issues that presented themselves during the process. One: Anyone who interviews me has googled me, which means that they know I've written extensively about pornography. Two: There had been a several year gap between when I had been doing copywriting last and my interest in it now, which was due to the fact that I had cancer and then got better. Both of these topics ended up being addressed directly in the interviews, which I had decided beforehand was the best way to handle them. But was I right? I don't know.

Reality TV is calling

Because internet, I had a producer approach me about developing an idea for a reality TV show. This ended up being a great time. I really enjoyed doing this. It was fun. In fact, I was going to list a few words after "fun," but when I wrote the word "fun," I realized that's what I liked most about it. It was fun. It wasn't stressful or deadly serious or an impossible task. It was enjoyable. It was entertainment. I have done some TV show producing and developing in the past. When I was on Playboy TV, I would bring the executive producers story ideas, and sometimes I gave input on scripts, and that sort of thing. At FX, I did some segment producing on a show called "The X Show," which was like that network's "The Man Show," and I did this Comedy Central-esque recurring feature in which I played someone called "The Manvocate," where I would seek out ways in which men were being exploited. I think the first one we did was on male porn stars being paid less than female porn stars. I think there was another one on male circumcision that was really weird and maybe would be best to forget about. I also forgot until I was working on this new show that years ago I actually had my own TV pilot, based on my old blog, which I went to New York to pitch, and met with I think it was MTV and VH1 and maybe Oxygen. That was a bit of a train wreck. But also a learning experience? One hopes.

Out, damned words

I have spent most of my career failing at being accepted by the New York publishing world. In maybe 2008, I put together a book proposal, got an agent, and that failed to sell. This time around, I couldn't even get an agent. Most agents didn't even respond after I submitted the two proposals I'd spent a long time getting solid. I hate agents, and the New York publishing world can suck my dick. That's my light bulb moment, right there. And fuck Oprah. Anyway, I'm working on a novel. May all the agents who ignored me suffer at the hands of fate.

Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.

Five Years

Next July, it will be five years since I was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer. This past summer marked my anniversary of four years cancer-free. Five years is a big deal, the time at which you're supposed to be out of the danger zone. Everyone who's had cancer wants to get there. Eventually, over time, it becomes a symbolic date more than anything else, a fantasy point at which you go from being NOT OK to OK. I'm almost there. Today requires a regular visit to the oncologist -- no big deal, just a check-in, no worries. Since I don't go to the oncologist as often now as I did in the beginning, there's a sense that I'm almost there. Still, it triggers. I get the sweats. I don't like to go. I wake up early. I want this to be over, I think. One day, it will be.

Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.

Do You Want to Be a Male Porn Star?

Image via TIME

Image via TIME

If you follow this blog, you may recall that I wrote a Forbes blog post back in 2012 that has since proven to be my most-read post there. It's about being a male porn star, and it's since gotten nearly two million views. Around the same time, I started getting emails from men who want to be porn stars. Since, I've received nearly seven hundred emails. At a certain point, I started posting them to a page on this website. Most recently, I updated it with some newer ones.

"I read your article from a few years ago about male porn stars. You probably saved me a lot of time there. I checked out your page, something I generally don't do. Your article spoke to me in the most straightforward of terms so I wanted to thank you for taking such a world view of the matter. I'm considering more realistic work now, not that that's not what I've been doing... but thanks anyway. Your article was very helpful. I'll be keeping my eye out for more of your work I found it to be very piquing of my curiosities. You got a new fan."

Support the arts! Buy a digital copy of THE TUMOR, a "masterpiece of short fiction" by me, Susannah Breslin.

Rejections from Literary Agents: #2

I enjoyed reading [redacted]. The opening section of the proposal is quite compelling. I had thought the book would then be sort of an investigation/memoir of your experience as a [redacted]. I think the wider angle you’ve taken, though—[redacted], [redacted], [redacted], etc---struck me as too diffuse. I’m sure I’m missing something and another agent will jump at the chance to work with you---you are a fine writer---but I think I had better step aside.
Thanks so much for the chance.

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